Many parents worry about how much their child eats.
Are they eating too much?
Too little?
Enough protein?
Too much bread?
Not enough Veggies?
The worries are endless, and often result in the following struggles:
mealtime battles
forcing your child to eat
bribing your child to eat
shaming your child about how much they eat
cooking a separate meal for your child and being frustrated when they don't eat it
mealtime tantrums
spoon feeding children who are old enough to feed themselves
All of these struggles amount to pressure. Pressure to get a child to eat what and how we (as parents) think they should eat. And this pressure is caused by worry.
Worry that you aren't doing a good job feeding your child.
Worry that your child won't grow as expected.
Worry that your child will get hungry.
There is a simple way to fix the problem: stop worrying.
And here's how to stop worrying:
1) Trust that your child knows how much to eat
2) Do a good job offering food to your child
1) Trust that your child knows how much to eat
There isn't one set amount that every 2 years old needs to eat every day.
All children need different amounts of food each day depending on their metabolism, growth, body type, energy use and genetics.
For example, a child might eat more when:
they are in a growth spurt
they are preparing for a growth spurt
they learned a new skill like running or jumping and burn a lot of energy practicing that new skill
they have a fast metabolism and need to eat a lot
they didn't eat enough the previous day
they have a larger body and require more food for maintenance
they love eating and exploring new foods!
A child might eat less when:
their growth rate slows down
they are sick, or about to get sick
they are in a restful state
they have a slow metabolism
they are too busy practicing a new skill (like jumping, running, etc.) to eat
they ate a lot the previous day
they have a smaller body by genetics
they are more sensitive than other children to taste, texture and smells, which causes them to be wary of new foods
I cannot tell you exactly how much your child needs to eat.
No one can.
Only your child knows how much they need to eat for healthy growth.
The amount they need will vary day to day and week to week.
Their body will tell them when they are hungry, and their body will tell them when they are full. When children are allowed to eat based on hunger and fullness cues coming from their own bodies, they do a good job getting enough to grow.
When parents interfere by forcing, bribing or pressuring, kids struggle to listen to their own bodies and it can interfere with growth.
BUT WAIT!
You are thinking: if left to their own choices, my child would only eat bread and milk, and would suck on juice all day.
That might be true.
Which is why learning to trust also requires that you do a good job offering food and setting limits.
2) Do a Good Job Offering Food to Your Child
It's not your job to decide how much or what your child decides to put in their mouth. You can't force your child to eat more or less.
It IS your job to decide what foods to offer and when to offer them.
Your child can't buy food or prepare meals. That is your job.
Don't let your child take over your job.
You need to:
plan meals
shop for food
prepare meals
set limits about eating at appropriate times and places
Planning and preparing meals is the only way to have peace of mind around food. It's the only way to let go of the incessant worry.
Here's what it looks like to do a good job of offering food to your child.
1) Sit down and eat with your child for three meals and 2 snacks every day.
2) At each meal make something for yourself and give some to your child. Here's about how much (and what) to serve:
start with 2 Tablespoons fruit or vegetable (or both!)
start with 1/4 cup of pasta/cereal/rice or 1/2 slice bread
start with about 2 Tablespoons protein (egg, meat, cheese, tofu, nuts, nut butter)
1/2 cup milk (measure it out in your child's sippy, it's less than you think!)
This shows an appropriate amount to serve toddlers: about 1 Tablespoon per year of age. Serve something from at least 3 food groups, preferably all 4 food groups + milk
3) Let your child decide how much to eat. If they want more, give them more. If they don't eat something, encourage them to try, but do not force.
4) Plan snack times between meals.
Do not graze between set meal and snack times. Have a snack and then wait until the next mealtime to eat again. Don't have anything but water between set meal and snack times. If your child begs for a snack, tell them to wait until the next meal or snack time. Young children need to eat about every 3 hours. Snacking on less nutritious foods too close to mealtime will ruin your child's appetite for real food at mealtime.
That's basically it.
That's how to do a good job offering food to your child:
1) eat with your child
2) eat the same things your child eats, start with about 2 tablespoons per food group for 2 year olds
3) let your child decide how much to eat (let them eat more or less than what you serve)
4) set boundaries around snacks
Your child might refuse a meal; refuse vegetables; even refuse to come sit with you.
That's normal! You've done your job, now you can let go. Let go of pressure, let go of battles. Be firm about the no grazing rule, if your child won't come to the table, make them wait until the next meal or snack time. It's love and limits! Offer another meal or snack in a few hours, and your child know they need to stop what they are doing and eat.
Still not convinced? Want more information? Read more about this style of feeding here: https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/how-to-feed/childrens-eating-and-growth/
Want to learn more?
Schedule a visit with our Registered Dietitian. She can help you assess how you are doing with your part of planning and preparing meals for your family. Ask your Family Advocate for a referral today!
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